Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
