No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
