i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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