My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
