Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
