if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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