there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
