I must be too annoying 4 u.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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