If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
