my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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