how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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