I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
