Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
