she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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