well I can't set my house on fire every night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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