she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
