Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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