Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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