Already got asked if we're dating
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
