you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
