You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
