He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
