That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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