So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
