i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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