We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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