Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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