What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
