HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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