I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
