If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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