Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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