Where did you get a picture of my penis
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
