is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
