It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
