I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Fuck appropriateness.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
