even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
