You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
