I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
