Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
