I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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