So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
