Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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