think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
