She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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