so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
