you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize