How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
