He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
