i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
