Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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