tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
