Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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