it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Randomize
