he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
