no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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