I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
