I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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