Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
