please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
