Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
