what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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