One girl and one boy is just not enough.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
