I feel great
I just peed on a car
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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