before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
