I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
