READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
