Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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