It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
