she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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