Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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